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Celebrating My 30th Candle
I’m not going to lie… 30 freaks my freak. I have dreaded it since I turned 25. I know what you are thinking, “30?! You are a baby!” Maybe, but I can’t help it, this is where I’ve been at… I’m dissuaded on the issue. 30 today … 50 tomorrow.
I would love to say that I have had this amazing bucket list for my first thirty years and that I have worked endlessly to cross off almost everything on that list. Unfortunately I never made it that far… life has been busy and bucket list worthy items seemed so exotic that I didn’t think it was worth it to hopelessly dream. I spent more than half of my life going to school which I hated. Then I got married soon after I turned 21 and had babies right away which really put a halt on any exotic plans I might have had. Ever since then I have been changing diapers, reading bedtime stories, carpooling and desperately wishing to have my pre-baby body back.
My kids are now potty trained and school aged… my oldest will be graduating high school in ten years! THAT makes me feel pretty old. Didn’t I just graduate like yesterday? In my heart I am still a free spirited teenager… How could I be about to turn 30?
Ok, ok have you heard enough depressing words to last you a year now? Me too… My attitude needed changing and I was given a gift of words that did just the trick.
“Cherish every birthday you have because you never know when it could be your last. So many women have fought the good fight and would have given anything to add one more candle to their birthday cake but never had the chance. Every year you are given is a gift- cherish that gift with every breath in your body.”
Such beautiful truth and it got me to thinking, maybe it hasn’t been all that mundane… so far I have:
1. Experienced a wonderful childhood in a healthy happy home with two loving parents who stuck together through thick and thin.
2. Despite childhood learning disabilities and fears I would have to repeat a grade level several different years I passed every year and graduated right on time in 2000.
3. I got to go to camp every summer as a kid- awesome!
4. I grew up in a fabulous church that nurtured my faith and helped it bloom and grow into something strong and meaningful.
5. I grew up going to my Grandpa’s mountain cabin- the essence and pure joy of my childhood.
6. I always had friends who shared my faith and encouraged it to grow.
7. I had the opportunity to go on countless youth retreats throughout middle and high school.
8. I went on some amazing trips with my family as child such as a road trip through the beautiful Rocky Mountains and a road trip through the mid-west down to Tennessee where we house boated for a week- both amazing trips!
9. I got to visit Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Missouri home and her grave when I was 9- hey I was a HUGE fan and this was an epic adventure for me.
10. I went on two mission trips to El Mezquital Mexico in high school and had some life changing experiences.
11. I went to Mexico on vacation with my family when I was 16… On that trip I learned all about the wrath of my Dad {FYI don’t sneak out at night and party with internationals in Mexico when you are only 16!}.
12. Also at age 16 I felt called to encourage my church with a message on spreading the Word of God. I spoke that message to an entire congregation of over 150 people.
13. I traveled Europe TWICE. Trips that mean more to me than words can express. One of those trips I did at age 17 by myself with my best friend.
14. I experienced a broken heart- which taught me about love, loss and staying true to ME.
15. I achieved my childhood dream of teaching pre-kindergarten. I had my own class, wrote my own lesson plans and played teacher for three fun years.
16. I road tripped it again but this time with my best friend to Arizona… twice.
17. I met a wonderful Christian man.
18. I moved out into my own apartment and lived completely on my own for a year. What a thrill and something I think every woman needs to experience at some point before she gets married.
19. I got married! The dress, the party, the guy … a dream come true!
20. I honeymooned on the Mayan Riviera in Mexico.
21. I gave birth to a beautiful daughter.
22. I gave birth to another beautiful daughter.
23. I was shocked and amazed that yet again I gave birth to another beautiful daughter.
24. I met amazing Christian friends as an adult. Not only individual friends but couples friends who my husband and I can enjoy together.
25. We went to Mexico on vacation with one of those couples.
26. I went to Mexico AGAIN with my parents and my sweet little family… so much fun to do together! Can you tell I LOVE Mexico?!
27. I proved that I make it as a single Mom while my husband was away in military training for six months.
28. I rented a car and drove from the San Antonio airport to Lackland Air Force Base all alone- a feat that scared me to death since I hate driving in new cities especially on my own.
29. I accomplished my childhood dream and wrote and published a book!
30. I co-founded a ministry dedicated to serving women … a lifelong dream of mine!
… All before I was 30.
Today as I relax here in Vegas, (first Vegas experience) on my kidless birthday vacation with the hubby and some of my favorite friends, I choose to embrace my thirties. After all, my kids are out of diapers, sleeping through the night and almost all in full day school… I can sleep until 8 on weekends now and forever! A new chapter is about to begin and couldn’t be more excited to watch it unfold… Cheers!
P.S. I want to spread the birthday love and offer you a little something… I was thinking 20% off that little book that I wrote, you might of heard of it, It’s Just a Little Gossip… Letters of a Broken Friendship. Word on the street is that it’s pretty juicy! Use code J3S7GYLU in our estore (not Amazon) and stock up with copies for you and all your besties!
{Birthday images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net}
Missing Me?
Hello lovelies! I realize that some of you may think that I dropped off the face of the planet… well I’ve actually just been busy over at She Shares Ministries (my new baby). Please check out some of my latest writing!
Check out some of my latest work:
Praying Together With Authority: http://sheshares.org/praying-together-with-authority/
Getting to Know Me / First Ever VLOG: http://sheshares.org/lets-share-sarah-on-inspiration/
A Little Bit of Comment Love / Tips for your Business Blog: http://sheshares.org/a-little-bit-of-comment-love/
My Biblical BFF: http://sheshares.org/my-biblical-bff/
Rumor Has It…
As my {would be} BFF Adele would say …
All of these words whispered in my ear,
Tell a story that I cannot bear to hear,
Just ‘cause I said it, it don’t mean that I meant it,
People say crazy things …
People do indeed say crazy things. Crazy, hurtful things … and I am not proud to say that, at times, I have been one of those people. Have you?
About five years ago I was blessed to be “caught in the act” gossiping about a good friend of mine {baby monitor owners beware!}. Blessed, you ask?! Yes, blessed. If I had never been caught I would have never learned. If I would have never learned I would have never grown.
As we learn from reading James we should, “consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” {1:3-4} – so hard to initially take in but so packed with truth and blessing!
Journeying down the bitter path of a broken friendship allowed me to learn so much about myself. One of the most important things I learned was why it was that I was gossiping in the first place. I invite you to take a sneak peek into my journal as I began to sort through those first emotions after getting caught….
As I replay the night over and over in my head, I am realizing that although she was the target, it had so much more to do with me and my own insecurities. For the first time I am realizing that I have been losing a continuous battle by giving in to the enemy who tells me that I am not good enough on my own…
I have accepted his deceitful whispers telling me, “You are not good enough. Nobody cares about you or what you have to say. Why not turn the tables? After all, people always love a juicy story about an easy target. Point out there faults and it will make you look better. In fact, it will make you look strong.”
How ridiculous does that sound? Ridiculous yet I bought into it and lost someone dear…
Looking back, it was such an eye opening experience. I had never grasped the fact that I was using my own insecurities to tear others down. In a way I was taking the attention off of myself and putting it on someone else. It was never intentional. It was never meant to hurt anyone. It was idle gossip, come on; we have all done it, right? Haven’t you casually dropped a few words about another friend, co-worker, family member or even a random stranger walking down the street? What is the harm?
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. – Proverbs 18:21
I’m not going to preach at you about the importance of not gossiping- I think you probably understand the harm in that already. What I want to challenge you to think about is why you do it. What harm can it really do {to the target and to you}? Is there a possibility of reconciliation for a friendship that has been destroyed?
I will leave you with my ending- which I might add is more than a happy one… God worked mightily in my heart and the heart of my friend. He changed us both, renewed our spirits and brought us to a place of sweet reconciliation. After four long years we were able to come together and share our story. In turn we hope that our story will empower and encourage women that ALL THINGS are possible through Christ.
Our story is not unique being that all women face these very issues every day, but rather it is unique because we have had the courage to share it and expose our hearts in a very vulnerable way… If you are interested in hearing more about our journey please visit us at SheShares.org or grab your copy of our book It’s Just a Little Gossip… Letters of a Broken Friendship.
I promise you will learn so much. I promise you will see a glimpse of yourself. I promise you will feel God tug at your heart. I promise you will be encouraged…
Some questions to ponder this week:
Think about the root of why you might gossip. Are there some areas in your heart that need to be examined more closely?
It’s easy to say that they gossiper was “wrong” in gossiping. Is there ever any responsibility on the part of the person who was gossiped about?
Pray on this question, especially if you have been the victim of gossip. What culpability might you have?
What would freedom look like for you?
The Battlefield For Our Minds
One of the strongholds that I face in life is looking backward rather then forward. I am often tormented with the “what if’s” … What if I had made different choice’s? What if I would have taken another road? What if I would have worked harder in this area? What if I would have just waited? What if I had been more careful about what I said? … When I get into these ruts I begin to quickly drown in depression and anxiety. It is not a good place to dwell.
I recently started reading The Rules Of Engagement by Cindy Trimm. Cindy showed me that my “what if” problem was much easier to overcome then I thought. “The most precious commodity in the earth realm is the mind. Not only is God vying for our minds, but the enemy is vying for your mind as well” (Trimm, 40). So often we forget that there is a spiritual battle going on around us. Our souls are constantly being fought for.
Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
The enemy is always there whispering lies into our minds. He too knows our weakness, our hurts, our desires and he slithers his way in and feeds on that. He takes advantage of that knowledge and creates thoughts in our heads to make us believe that they are our own and that we should act on them. He plants ideas, strife and confusion and if we are ignorant to his deceitful tools we fall victim and are seduced in. Isn’t that a horrible thought?
It sounds so daunting and dark … how can we escape it? How can we take control of our minds and keep the enemy out? The great news is that God is all powerful and will always prevail and win out in the end. He is all we need and He will conquer. When we immerse ourselves in His Word and stay prayerful in all things, we silence the enemy. Prayer invades darkness. Through prayer and petition we should seek daily protection from God, that He would not only keep us physically safe but also protect our mind and spirit.
Ephesians 6:13-18 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
Now when I start to dip into the “what if’s” I quickly turn my thoughts to the Lord. He knows every detail of my life … where I have been, where I am going, my heart and my desires and He has my best interest at heart. I am His precious child and He LOVES me deeply. So, the “what if’s” don’t matter anymore. They aren’t healthy, they aren’t me and they don’t root from God. I prayerfully submit those thoughts to Him, put Him back in control and breathe a sigh of relief. It is wonderful to feel those burdens lift and have His peace wash over me.
Be adamantly aware of the enemy and his influences. Don’t go through life oblivious to his deceitful demise or he will get the best of you. Cover yourself in the Holy Spirit and keep your thoughts centered around the Lord. The difference that it makes is astounding and so freeing!
Can you think of times when you were all of a sudden consumed by depression, regret, anger or anxiety? How do you fight back and surrender mind control to the Lord?
Where Can You Make a Difference In a Child’s Life?
… He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
-Mark 10:14
He had his jammies on.
His teeth were brushed.
He was all snuggled up in bed ready for his story, which as of late consisted of a thrilling tale from his new children’s Bible.
This night which seemed so routine, was anything but … you see his life was about to change forever.
“Mom, do we really get to live in Heaven with Jesus FOREVER?” He innocently asked.
“Yes,” she answered, “but you have to first ask Jesus to live in your heart and believe that He died for your sins. All you have to say is a little prayer about these things and then you get to live with Him in Heaven FOREVER!”
Without a second though the little boy eagerly exclaimed, “Ok, let’s do it now Mom.” So they prayed together and each went to bed.
The next morning before her son woke up that Mom sat quietly reflecting on the events of the night before. She thanked God for giving her son the desire to make such an important decision. She prayed that he wouldn’t forget his decision and that his desire to seek would grow and flourish as he grew older. Minutes later her son bounced down the stairs and shouted, “I am so excited I am going to live in Heaven with Jesus FOREVER!” Her heart melted!
Rewind about 19 years and imagine that Mom as a 12 year old neon green spandex wearin’, bangs as high as the ceiling girl. That girl was my bestie … we were inseparable. She didn’t grow up in a Christian home and really didn’t have a concrete spiritual belief one way or the other. After a few months of sowing the seeds of our new friendship I invited her to my youth group. {I’m not going to lie- I did promise there would be cute boys there and what 12 year old girl could resist that?!}. So she came with me. And the next week she came again. She just kept coming week after week.
Something in her sparked {and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just the boys!}.
She asked a lot of questions. She shared a lot of uncertainties. She sought to find the truth.
And the truth she found.
After a couple of years she made the beautiful decision to invite Jesus into her heart. She committed her life to Him and never looked back. A couple years after that she was baptized. It was an amazing journey to witness … This dear, dear friend that I so adamantly prayed for came to know Christ! Her life and her actions reflected Him and she has been richly blessed through it. {Big smiles} I am so proud of the woman she has become!
My bestie and her boy.
The day my bestie told me about her son giving His life over to Jesus so that they could live together in Heaven FOREVER I was so moved. It was incredible to see her journey come full circle. To think that any number of things could have altered her path completely …
I just read that, “a person’s response to the meaning and personal value of Jesus Christ’s life, death and resurrection is usually determined before a person reaches 18. In fact, a majority of Americans make a lasting determination about the personal significance of Christ’s death and resurrection by age 12. [ref.]”
Wow … age 12 …
Do you know a child who doesn’t know Jesus? What can you do to share Him with that person? You never know what impact an invitation, a gift, prayers, guidance or simply sharing will make in a child’s life. Where can you make a difference today?
Just You Wait and See
Peace.
Pure satisfaction.
Excitement.
When the time is right.
Fast moving.
Most capable.
BIG.
These are a few words that were spoken over me at a prayer group a few years ago. At the time I received these prophetic words, I was excited yet dumbfounded … “Sounds great, but what does it mean?!” Nothing that was going on in my life at the time lined up with what the words implied. What was God planning for me? My curiosity soared!
{If you are like me, patience is a struggle. I want to know it all right now. I don’t want to wait- for anything. When I was little I actually paid my little sister to let ME TELL HER what I got her for Christmas! Immediate gratification- not my best suit}
Anyway, I wrote those words on paper and stuck them away in my Bible- half wondering if they were even “real”. Then, I went on with my life … for three years. A lot happened in those three years. My little girls went from being babies to school aged kids. We transitioned into a military lifestyle thanks to my husband’s new job with the Air Force. I worked through some tough relationships and experienced a lot of healing.
I started writing.
Out of the blue I reconnected with an old friend/enemy. Turns out we both like writing and soon started working on a little project. A nice little side hobby …
About a year later that little side project grew into a story. That story produced a vision. That vision created sparks. Those sparks- well those sparks are going to ignite a fire.
You see, God’s “plan” for me (the one I started doubting) began playing out without my even knowing it. In fact, it was already into play when I received those words all those years ago. I was right smack dab in the middle of some really tough stuff. Seemingly meaningless stuff that I would have never thought twice about. Stuff that only He could use to bring glory to Him later on. He was preparing me (and my friend/enemy) for what was about to come and I didn’t even have a clue.
God works in mysterious ways.
With each new day our little project grows. It continually evolves into something bigger and greater than my friend/enemy and I could have ever imagined. Doors have been opened. Opportunities have planted themselves in our laps.
Words have been confirmed.
As I sit here this morning, looking back over those words I am in awe. In awe of the amazing journey that God has taken me on. I am at peace. I am satisfied. I am super excited! The time is right. Things are moving fast. I am most capable to handle what is ahead. This is going to be BIG. It’s all so clear …
I encourage you to keep on keeping on. Right now you could be in the midst of a life changing situation and not even know it. Trust in Him- He has this awesome way of working out the details in His own special way.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” –Jeremiah 29:11
Got Self- Control?
Fruits of the Spirit
We all have one. A weakness that hold us captive. The no no that we can’t help but to say yes to. Something in our life that relentlessly holds us back in some way. A vice … So come on, what’s yours?
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
My vice … self-control. More specifically self-control when it comes to food. What can I say, I love food. I take pleasure in satisfying my cravings. Eating to my heart’s content. Knowing my limits but reaching far beyond them. What is so wrong with that?
Well, I let myself get to an unhealthy place. I am not overweight, but my body has certainly taken a turn due to my poor eating habits. Even as I exercise to get healthier, the excess weight doesn’t shift much. I can’t seem to manage to control my portions or say no when I need to. But come on, is it really that big a of a deal?
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
I struggle with that verse. Not because I don’t agree with it, but rather because I am convicted by it. It hits a sore spot in my life. A spot that I am unhappy with. Am I really taking care of my body the way I am called to? Is the excess of junk food that I put into my body honoring it? Now, please don’t get me wrong- my message is not to judge those who like to indulge in the sweet pleasures of the culinary world. I certainly do! This message isn’t even about being healthy or losing weight.
It is about struggling with self-control.
My lack of self-control has started some bad cycles:
- I have continued to dishonor my body, my temple of the Holy Spirit.
- My obsession with food has become an idol in my life.
- I am not practicing this vital fruit of the spirit, self control, on a daily basis.
- If I can’t practice self-control in little things like eating, how will I do when faced with the big challenges?
Why is it so hard for me to step away and not eat as much? Why can’t I see food as merely a necessity to survive instead of a pleasure? I could just say that it’s too hard and I can’t resist. This is such a minor part of my life anyway. But then I am reminded:
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
God doesn’t give us things we can’t handle, right? Right. I am running out of excuses.
So struggle I still will. I haven’t reached the end of this road yet. But I know that God is on my side. He gave me this body to bring glory to Him. He has given me the capability to face the everyday temptations I have to eat more then I need. He commands me to practice self-control. So then what do I do?
I pray. I give this weakness to Him. I seek His guidance. I seek His strength. I challenge myself. I push to fight the temptations that hold me captive. I not only exercise my body but I exercise my self-control. Just like a muscle that grows stronger with each repetition of exercise, my self-control will grow stronger with each day that I exercise it.
Starting today.
Romans 12: 1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
What is your vice? Are you lacking self-control? Do you have the desire to make a change in your life? Will you join me in prayer, exercising our spirits, and making a dedicated push for growth? You don’t have to tell me, I know it is going to be hard work. Really hard work. But I know that it’s what we are called to do. And I know we each have the tools to do it.
If you want to join me in stopping the excuses and facing our struggles head on, leave me a comment below. I would love to pray for you and encourage you. We’re in this together!
Sharing – Just Because
“Mommy! Guess what, guess what, guess what?!” my oldest daughter shouted as she burst through the front door.
“What is it? What happened?” I asked wondering what she was so excited about.
“I got a fish! I can’t believe that I got ANOTHER fish!” Her face was beaming with pride as she handed the little fish to me. At her school teachers and students get the opportunity to write compliments about different students from time to time. After they write their compliment {on a little fish} they drop it into a big tub. Every morning at the school assembly they randomly draw a fish and honor that student in front of the whole school. It is something to get really excited about and excited she was as it was her second time having her name “fished” this year.
Later that night I got to thinking about how proud she was. How she waited all day to rush home and share with me all about her achievement. Then I got to thinking about all the other days she comes walking through that door … some days there are tears, some days she radiates with pure bliss (like this day) and others days she plops down to casually fill me in on the everyday trials of second grade life, just because.
She shares with me.
I feel so lucky. Lucky to be the one she runs home to. Lucky to be her Mom. Lucky to have a relationship where we can connect about the big things and the little things.
I love it. I love sharing in her everyday “stuff”.
How often do we remember to run to God with our little things? Our big things? Our “just because” things? When I stopped to think about it, I realized that there are definitely people in my life that I run to with my news, but how often do I stop and share with God?
How often do I rush home to share with Him about my day, just because – just as my daughter shares with me, just because …
If I, as an earthly mother, feel such a huge amount of pride and joy when my daughter runs to me how much MORE does He feel when I come to Him? I am His favorite. His love is greater. He desires that close knit connection with little ol’ me. He desires to be the one I can’t wait to run and tell all my news to.
What do you think? How often do you run to Him to share about your day? Does your quiet time routine consist of praise, thanksgiving, requests and an Amen? Or do you make time to just talk to God. He loves you so, and can’t wait for you to run to Him and share all those big and little things. He is the proud parent who takes pride in YOU. So go ahead, share with Him.
Her Fish - So Proud!
Jesus Take the Wheel!
Walking Blindly
A few weeks ago my husband and I test drove a car we were looking at purchasing. He drove and I sat next to him the passenger seat. As soon as we got on the road I felt agitated and uncomfortable. You see there were price stickers, information sheets and more covering the windshield in front of me and to my side. I couldn’t see a thing … I couldn’t see traffic, signs, lights, etc. It drove me crazy! Thankfully all those obstructions were only covering the passenger side and not the driver side. All I had to do was sit along for the ride and trust that my husband could see where we were going and that he was in control.
How often in life do we feel that uncomfortable feeling when we are not in control of what is going on around us?
Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
At one point or another we all get frustrated and even angered at our present circumstances. We worry where our job will be in six months, how we will pay our bills, how we will overcome our hurdles, etc. We might feel lost and wonder how God could possibly put us through “this”. The feeling of being out of control is scary!
It’s important to remember that although we can only see and experience the here and now God can see the whole picture! He is working toward our greater good. He knows exactly what steps to take to get us there as long as we are willing to let Him lead us. Trusting God to take control and get us to our destination safely is one of the hardest but most valuable things that we can learn in this life.
In what areas do you struggle to let go and let God take the steering wheel? What have you found helpful as you hand over control to Him?